“Hold on, counselor.” Judge Kendall interrupted the opening statements. Her facial expression gave away what was about to come. “Mrs. Beacon, my courtroom is not the place for theatrics. Armed criminal assault is a serious charge. I’ll overlook your choice of attire, but keep up with your shenanigans, and I’ll have no problem having you disrobed and thrown in jail.”
Mrs. Beacon leaped to her feet despite the efforts of her two attorneys at her side to restrain her. “Your Honor, in all fairness, I didn’t interrupt the man. You did.” Mrs. Beacon turned to her group and they nodded in sync. “I’m harmless and old enough to be your grandma. I’m—”
“Enough!” Judge Kendall slammed her gavel. “If you don’t behave, today won’t be your best day. Now, sit down and take off that hat. This is a courtroom, not the Kentucky Derby.”
“But Your Honor, I feel naked without my bonnet—” She didn’t finish as her attorneys wrestled her to her chair. One had an arm wrapped around her waist while the other was brave enough to cover her mouth while apologizing to the judge. When Mrs. Beacon bit down on a finger, he released the muzzle.
Rainey had enough. He got up from his seat as the judge added more charges to Mrs. Beacon’s slate. Exiting the Barnum and Bailey arena, Rainey exhaled to release the jumbled emotional mess from thirty minutes in Mrs. Beacon’s presence.
Outside the courtroom, the scene was just as maddening. The number people had swelled. It was as if Santa’s elves, topped off in red hats, were scurrying doing nothing. As he tried to head to the restroom, a bunch of old women refused to let him through, mumbling something about his name wasn’t on Mrs. Beacon’s list. What list?
“I’ve heard of a key for access to the men’s room, but a list. I just walked outside this courtroom.”
“Hmm-mmm. That’s what they all say,” a woman with a long face and Jay Leno chin argued.
“Excuse me again, but this is a public building,” he had politely informed them, trying his best not to yell.
“Exactly, young man, and we are here to enforce the building code. You’d make one person over the mandatory limit. We need all the space we can get. With so many women here, we’ve taken over the men’s restroom. Sorry. Just hold it a little while longer,” one cute little woman advised. “Whatever you do, don’t think anymore water. Coffee, teas, and soda could also act as diuretics.”
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